


this thing we keep

by frougge



Category: X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, also im sorry for this in advance i know nothing about the x1 twinks, eunsang's lack of hygiene is mentioned and i WILL bully him for it until he showers, happy birthday emmie !!!!, kim wooseok-centric, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-14
Updated: 2019-09-14
Packaged: 2020-10-17 18:14:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20625389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frougge/pseuds/frougge
Summary: “There you are,” Seungyoun says, as soon as Wooseok pulls up in front of his apartment building and unlocks the car door. He’s got a black hoodie over a pair of sweat pants, with his hands deep in his pockets, even though it’s just the beginning of September and not nearly that cold. “Thought I’d freeze to death here or something.”“You could have stayed in your apartment building until I pulled up,” Wooseok says, watching as Seungyoun readjusts in his seat, pulling on his seatbelt. “Sorry for waking you up, by the way.”“I was practically up,” Seungyoun says, grinning at Wooseok. “Where are we going?”(or, seungyoun and wooseok go on a roadtrip in the middle of the night.)





	this thing we keep

**Author's Note:**

  * For [midzyzen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/midzyzen/gifts).

> happy birthday ao3 award winning writer joonswig !!!! i love u sm and i hope u enjoy this. im so sorry for not knowing anything abt the x1 twunks but i hope this still makes some sense nonetheless LOL haha ilysm <3 also im rly sorry this is late but to make up for it u have some sweet vape refs bc of that one photo u r horny for . i hope i rememmbered correctly and its seungyoun in that photo otherwise this is awkward and i might as well die or smth
> 
> title comes from genghis khan by miike snow
> 
> there's a small playlist for this [here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/49TNzYviXUI44v4dVv31vY?si=frYJKosPRGWRefvqfRCf5A)

A beat passes, one, two, and Wooseok is ready to turn off the car, to retreat back into his home and crawl under the covers and stare at the ceiling until morning comes. He’s about to hang up, too, figuring he was stupid to even call in the first place, and—

“—_Wooseok?”_ A groggy, half-awake voice answers the phone and he breathes out in relief. There’s some shuffling on the other side of the call until, “_Wooseok, what the fuck? It’s the—the middle of the night, you asshole.”_

“Yeah,” Wooseok says, twisting in his seat and chewing on the inside of his cheek. He hadn’t thought his plan through nearly well enough, it seems, but he’d been unable to sleep, twisting and turning in his bed until his restlessness beat him and he found himself sneaking out of the house. “Where do you live?”

“_Where do I—what are you on about?”_ Seungyoun says, and maybe Wooseok should have called Yohan instead.

“Look—uh,” Wooseok says, his mouth dry as he picks at the end of his hoodie. “It’s—well, nothing serious happened or anything like that, if you’re worried—”

“—_are you okay?_” Seungyoun cut him off with, suddenly serious and wide awake. There’s more rustling on his end of the line—sitting up in bed, maybe getting up and searching for clothes. “_I can be right there—”_

“—no, really, I’m okay,” Wooseok says, feeling kind of ridiculous at how his heart starts racing. “You know what, this was kind of stupid of me, um, yeah, so I think we should just forget this happened. Close this chapter of our lives, so this speak. You can, uh, go back to sleep and pretend I never called you.”

“_Oh, but there’s no fun in that, is there?”_ Seungyoun says, though his voice is still softer than usual, his tone a bit gentler, and Wooseok feels his shoulders relax. “_You can talk to me. I don’t mind._”

“I—okay,” Wooseok says, his resolve crumbling in a moment. He can be embarrassed about this tomorrow, he decides. “I—um, would you be opposed to a road trip?”

“_A road trip,” _Seungyoun repeats and Wooseok is once again met with the feeling that this is not only stupid, but also pointless. “_A road trip—right now? It’s half past one—and don’t you have a flight in like, under ten hours?”_

Wooseok groans. “Don’t remind me,” he says, “but it’d be just a bit out of town. Nothing too long.”

“_Just have to calm down your nerves?” _Seungyoun says and sometimes, sometimes, Wooseok hates how well he knows him. “_I do have to get up early tomorrow, though_.”

It’s practically a yes.

“I’ll buy you coffee,” Wooseok promises, trying to ignore the way his heart beats in his chest, feeling like it might break through and spill out over his hands, staining them red. “Not right now, but—you know. When the opportunity arises.”

“_When the opportunity arises,” _Seungyoun says, and Wooseok wonders if he’s smiling.

“We’d be back before four?” Wooseok says, “maybe earlier. Possibly. Depends.”

“_We don’t have to be,_” Seungyoun replies, “_as long as you make your flight. I’ll text you my address.”_

He hangs up before Wooseok has the chance to reply and, for once, Wooseok doesn’t mind.

.

It’s all very funny, really, because, strangely, Wooseok hasn’t known Seungyoun for that much time. He met Seungyoun through Yohan not even a year ago. He meets a lot of people through Yohan, truth be told; it’s less the fact that Yohan is a people person (which he isn’t, not really) and more the fact that he has an insane amount of extracurriculars and enrolls in too many clubs for Wooseok to keep track of, dropping out after less than a month, somehow managing to make countless friends in the process.

Seungyoun was one of those friends.

“He’s really nice, I promise,” Yohan said, when he waved over someone from his pottery club to sit with them during lunch, without even thinking to ask Wooseok. “Very considerate. A Leo, too, and you’re always horny for those.”

Wooseok couldn’t really argue with that, he supposed.

“You said that about the last one,” he replied, trying very hard not to sink in his seat. “You said that about the last one and I swear to god he used a bottle of AXE body spray every morning before leaving. Could not breathe for even a second as soon as he sat down.”

“Okay, but to be fair, that was Eunsang,” Yohan said, not looking the least bit bothered. “He’s very… specific. Seungyoun is nicer, though, I promise.”

“Yohan, I swear to god if I catch even a whiff of—”

“—you won’t,” Yohan said, elbowing him, “I promise. Now shut up and at least pretend to be a regular human being.” He sent Wooseok a look before turning and letting his lips split in a smile. “Seungyoun! Hey. Meet my friend, Wooseok.”

“Hey,” Seungyoun greeted them with and his voice was nice, smooth, a bit deep, maybe. He smiled, lifting his hand to shift through his hair, and it was then, probably, Wooseok can say in retrospect, that Wooseok was an absolute goner.

There’s not much else to it, really.

“I told you he was nice,” Yohan said, pointedly, after they had to part ways to go to class. He linked his elbow with Wooseok’s dragging him forward. “You seemed to enjoy his company very much.”

“I was just being friendly,” Wooseok replied, even though he knew that wasn’t really the case. There was something captivating about Seungyoun, about the way he smiled, the way he talked, and Wooseok found that he could barely take his eyes off him. “Do you know what that is? I literally just made conversation with him. That’s all.”

“Just made conversation with him,” Yohan scoffed, “yeah, sure. You didn’t even _talk _once when Eunsang sat with us.”

“That’s because Eunsang doesn’t understand the concept of personal hygiene,” Wooseok said. Yohan hummed, unconvinced, and Wooseok rolled his eyes. “You’re insufferable, you know that? Insufferable. Cannot stand being in your presence.”

Yohan sighed, pressing a hand to his chest. “I’m sorry I’m not Seungyoun,” he said and Wooseok shoved him.

“Fuck off,” Wooseok said, ignoring the way Yohan laughed at him in response.

That was supposed to be it, Wooseok had thought at the time; that was how it was with most of Yohan’s friends, made through the assortment of clubs he joined. They sat with them for lunch once, maybe met up during the weekend, and then they went their separate ways.

With Seungyoun, it was different. He kept tagging along whenever their friend group would hang out, somehow making all of them enjoy his company immensely, laugh at all his jokes and admire him greatly. He kept waving to Yohan in the halls even after Yohan left the pottery club, kept joining him and Wooseok for lunch even though he had his own group of friends. Surprisingly, maybe, he kept talking to Wooseok in the halls, even when he wasn’t accompanied by Yohan, kept stopping him for small talk, walking him to class, even, sometimes.

It was nice, maybe.

It felt as if he’d known Seungyoun since the beginning of time, as if they’d been friends forever, as if something clicked into place the day Seungyoun sat with them at lunch, the day he’d grinned at Wooseok and Wooseok, in turn, decided that was it for him.

.

“There you are,” Seungyoun says, as soon as Wooseok pulls up in front of his apartment building and unlocks the car door. He’s got a black hoodie over a pair of sweat pants, with his hands deep in his pockets, even though it’s just the beginning of September and not nearly that cold. “Thought I’d freeze to death here or something.”

“You could have stayed in your apartment building until I pulled up,” Wooseok says, watching as Seungyoun readjusts in his seat, pulling on his seatbelt. “Sorry for waking you up, by the way.”

“I was practically up,” Seungyoun says, grinning at Wooseok. “Where are we going?”

“It’s this one place I found,” Wooseok says, as he pulls out of the makeshift parking space, starting down the road. It’s practically empty—no surprise, considering the time. “It’s—well, nothing special. I hope you’re okay with trespassing, though?”

“It sounds very sexy,” Seungyoun says, “I’m down with it. Well—as long as we don’t get caught, though that’s pretty dope. We can call Yohan to pay our bail if that happens.”

“It won’t,” Wooseok says, hoping he’s not lying. He really can’t afford to fuck up his future, especially not for something stupid like this. “It’d be worth it, I promise.”

Seungyoun hums, turning his head towards the window to watch the passing lights, to watch the moon in the sky. It’s a full one today, glistening over them, and Wooseok thinks there’s probably something poetic to be said about it, but he can’t find the words. He’s never been good with them, anyway, so he supposes it doesn’t really matter.

“You sounded a bit… out of it, when you called me,” Seungyoun says, after a moment, still staring out the window. “Everything okay? We can talk about it, if you want.”

“It’s fine,” Wooseok says, lying through his teeth. His grip on the steering wheel strengthens as he drives onto the highway, his foot pressing on the acceleration a bit too much, maybe. “Just—you know.”

“Right,” Seungyoun says, and lets them fall into an easy silence.

.

This isn’t the first time something like this has happened. It’s—well, it’s difficult to classify it entirely, considering it’s not always a car ride. The first time, it was Seungyoun blowing up Wooseok’s phone before pounding on his window in the middle of the night.

“It’s three am,” Wooseok said, even as he pulled open the window and let Seungyoun practically fall in. “If my parents wake up, I’m killing you.”

“Would be a pleasure,” Seungyoun said. He didn’t waste a second before he sprawled out on Wooseok’s rug, staring at the ceiling—at the glow-in-the-dark stars that shimmered down at him, and Wooseok wished he thought to tear them off. “Sorry, though. If they do wake up.”

“They won’t, probably,” Wooseok replied, taking a seat back at his desk. He swiveled in his chair, unsure of what to do, exactly. “Why’re you showing up so late, though? I could have been asleep.”

“You weren’t, though,” Seungyoun said.

“I could have been.”

“Even if,” Seungyoun said, still taring at the stars, tilting his head to catch them all, “you were producing light pollution from your lamp. Would have saved you from ruining the environment any further. If anything, you should be thanking me, I feel like.”

“Of course,” Wooseok said, “thanks, then.”

“Always happy to be at your service,” Seungyoun said, before falling silent for a few moments. “You mind if I vape? Do we want her? One hundred percent no?”

“It’s—fine,” Wooseok pushed out through his teeth, even if the thought of Seungyoun vaping, of all things, in his room made him want to pull all his teeth out. “You’ll owe me for this, though. And do it by the window or something. I don’t want my room to smell like fucking smoke.”

“It doesn’t smell like smoke,” Seungyoun pushed himself up, taking one last look at the stars before he walked over to the window, leaning heavily on the sill. He opened it smoothly, leaning almost half of his body out of it, and Wooseok takes a moment to worry. “It’s uh, sweet. It smells like a carnival or something, if anything. Not smoke.”

“Somehow I feel like that’s even worse.”

“It’s not,” Seungyoun said. “It’s like, very subtly green apple. If it makes you feel better, I only have it because Hangyul thought it’d be very funny to gift me it. It’s not even that bad, honestly. You want to give it a try?”

“I’d rather do anything but that,” Wooseok said.

“Suit yourself,” Seungyoun responded, and Wooseok watched as he took out his vape pen, as he let smoke out his mouth in ringlets, as they floated out of the window into the sky. “Sorry, by the way, for dropping by so suddenly.”

“I don’t mind,” Wooseok said, his eyes still on Seungyoun as he’s half out the window. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“There’s not much to talk about,” Seungyoun breathed out, again, and Wooseok couldn’t help but stare. “It’s nothing, really. Just… I don’t know. It’s a whole thing.”

“I have time,” Wooseok lied and Seungyoun caught his eyes as he turned to him, tilting his head to the side, narrowing his eyes just slightly so. “We can get into it, if you want.”

“It really is nothing,” Seungyoun insisted, “just the regular, old thing. I find that being with you helps, though.”

“Does it, now,” Wooseok asked. He folded his hands in his lap, unsure of what to do, what to say. He wasn’t even that close with Seungyoun at the time—sure, they talked in the halls, spent time together, but usually not one-on-one, and definitely not in Wooseok’s bedroom. “Vaping help, too?”

“Not really,” Seungyoun said with a laugh, one that fell off his breath and seemed to fill the whole room. “I like it, though. Feel like some instagram e-boy that’s going to make it big.”

“That’s what you aspire to be?” Wooseok said, “an instagram e-boy?”

“Feel like I’m already about half-way there to being one,” Seungyoun said. His fingers tapped patterns on the windowsill, in a way that would be annoying if he wasn’t Seungyoun. “Only need to actually start an instagram account. And do that eye-roll thing. Feel like I’d look pretty sexy doing that.”

“Feel like it’s better if we don’t find out whether that’s true,” Wooseok said. He hesitated for a moment, toying with his fingers, before he asked, “do you want something to drink? I can make you tea or something. Coffee, maybe, though the coffee machine is loud as shit.”

“Tea would be great, if you don’t mind,” Seungyoun said, turning back towards the window.

“I’ll be right back, then,” Wooseok said.

It took him a good few minutes to let the water finish boiling before he poured the coffee and made his way upstairs, trying very hard not to spill any on the stairs nor the wooden floor. When he finally returned to his room, Seungyoun’s vape pen was tucked back inside his jacket and he was on Wooseok’s floor again.

“Really like your glow-in-the-dark stars,” he said, as soon as Wooseok returned and place the cup of tea on his nightstand, holding his own between his hands. “They’re nice.”

“They’re peeling off,” Wooseok argued, taking a seat next to Seungyoun on the floor. He sipped his tea, slowly, pretending it didn’t burn his tongue. “I don’t think that makes them qualify as nice.”

“They’re nice,” Seungyoun insisted, “they have this—this vibe going for them. Like. I wish I had some in my bedroom.”

“We could buy some and I’d help you put them up,” Wooseok said, his voice dipping a bit lower.

“Would you,” Seungyoun asked, turning to look at Wooseok. Wooseok nodded, slowly, unsure of why he was so serious about this, of all things. “Let’s do that, then. Please do that with me?”

“Sure,” Wooseok said. He set his tea down on the floor, careful, and let Seungyoun take hold of his hand, thumb skipping over his skin. “We can do that this weekend, if you want. I think I’m free. Or—there’s that test from calculus that I should probably study for and I have like, three essays to complete for english, so maybe we can push this a bit back. But we can do it, though. Promise.”

“Promise,” Seungyoun repeated, pushing himself up. His fingers land on Wooseok’s cheek, his touch light and gentle and barely there. “Can I kiss you?”

“Why,” Wooseok asked, because he’s not sure what else to do. He swallows, his throat all too dry suddenly. “Why do you want to?”

Seungyoun smiled. “Just do,” he said, “that’s all.”

“Right,” Wooseok said, his eyes flitting down to Seungyoun’s lips. “Yes,” he added, feeling his cheeks redden. “You can. Kiss me, that is.”

Seungyoun’s touch on Wooseok’s cheek became a bit more corporeal, though still almost ghostlike as he leaned forward and Wooseok met him in the middle. He moved his hand to try and touch Seungyoun, to try and make it all seem a bit more real, but all he did is knock over his tea cup.

“Fuck,” he hissed as he broke away, the tea burning his fingers, making his skin sting. “Fuck, god, this is a mess—”

“—it’s fine,” Seungyoun said with a smile still on his face, even as he picked up the tea cup and set it a bit further down. “No worries. I’ll help you clean it up, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Wooseok echoed, returning Seungyoun’s smile when he met his eyes.

They don’t really talk about it after that.

.

“We’re here,” Wooseok says, lightly shoving Seungyoun’s knee to try and wake him. He started falling asleep somewhere along the way and Wooseok didn’t have the heart to stop him from doing so. “Come on. We’re not going to be any good at trespassing if you’re still half-asleep.”

“I’m awake, I’m awake,” Seungyoun says, even as he yawns, even as he struggles to keep his eyes open. “God, didn’t even realize I fell asleep.”

“Feel like that’s usually how it works,” Wooseok says, climbing out of the car and wasting no time in getting to the passenger side and pulling the door open, helping Seungyoun up. “Come _onnn, _we’re wasting time with every second.”

“Maybe you should consider living a little, sometimes?”

“We’re about to trespass onto private property,” Wooseok says, shutting the door as soon as Seungyoun gets out and locking the car. “I feel like that classifies as living at least a little.”

Seungyoun hums in response, rubbing at his eyes slightly. “You might be onto something with that one,” he says, “jury’s still out, though. Will get back to you later.”

“Please do,” Wooseok says, knocking his shoulder into him. “Would die probably if I’m not updated.”

“Can’t let that happen,” Seungyoun says. Their hands brush against each other and Seungyoun doesn’t waste the chance to intertwine their fingers, before stuffing their hands into the pocket of his hoodie. At Wooseok’s raised eyebrows, he pretends his ears don’t burn red and says, “what? My hands are cold.”

“‘Course,” Wooseok says, though he can’t help the way his stomach twists and turns at everything. It’s always like this, with Seungyoun at his side, even though he feels probably the most comfortable with him. “You know how to climb a fence?”

“You planning to recreate that one scene from _Notting Hill_?” Seungyoun asks, “is that what we’re doing? If so, kinda a serve, I feel like.”

“You’re so annoying,” Wooseok says, though he can’t help the smile that breaks across his lips as Seungyoun squeezes his hand, “feel like after this, I’ll never want to be in your presence again.”

“That’s not true,” Seungyoun says.

“That’s not true,” Wooseok admits. “Do you, though? Know how to climb a fence?”

“Uh,” Seungyoun hesitates, tilting his head as Wooseok drags him forward, “probably? I feel like that’s something as I should know, as a wannabe bad boy.”

“It does go hand in hand with all the vaping,” Wooseok says, “and your e-boy inspired wardrobe.”

“Bully me for it all you want, but I know that you’re very horny for it all,” Seungyoun says, knocking his shoulder into Wooseok, “you can’t hide the truth from me, you know.”

“Keep telling yourself that and maybe you’ll believe it,” Wooseok says, before he stops, fingers reaching out to brush along cold metal. It’s a moderately tall fence, black and curling against the dark of the sky. “You ready to try your best?”

“I was born ready,” Seungyoun boasts, grinning before he lets go off Wooseok’s hand.

.

The second time, it was a car ride in the middle of a rainstorm, with Seungyoun holding Wooseok’s hand over the gear shift. It was a miracle they hadn’t gotten into an accident, then, considering just how much Seungyoun was going over the speed limit, but Wooseok remembers just how alive he felt, then, with his heart pounding in his chest and his back pressed flat against the car seat, Seungyoun’s hand covering his.

It continued almost frequently after that; Seungyoun dragging him out somewhere, or bursting in through his bedroom window, or catching him just before he left to go home in order to drive to the other side of town for no reason other than to spend time together. Wooseok doesn’t think too much of it—likes the attention, certainly, likes the way being with Seungyoun makes him feel, likes the way Seungyoun will kiss him, softly each time, only to never mention it again.

He didn’t think too much of it until he found himself in his car at one am, fingers tapping on too fast on the steering wheel as he tried to calm down. He’s unable to do so, almost shaking as he called Seungyoun.

He thinks he understood it then, finally.

.

“A pool,” Seungyoun breathes out in disbelief when they make it to the other side of the fence. “All this for—for a pool? You couldn’t go to a public one?”

“I figure they’re closed at this time,” Wooseok says, “besides, live a little.”

“I feel like you shouldn’t be allowed to mock me with that,” Seungyoun says. He walks towards the pool, squatting down and sticking his hand in it as soon as he’s able to do, making small waves in the water. “What now? We going to stare at the water?”

“That’s what you do when you go to the pool?”

“I don’t really go to the pool,” Seungyoun says, still occupied with fiddling his fingers in the water. “And this isn’t really a pool. More like—private property.”

“You weren’t so bothered by this when you were climbing the fence,” Wooseok points out, as his heart jumps in fear that this was a bad idea, that he shouldn’t have brought Seungyoun here. That he shouldn’t have called him, in the first place, no matter how heavy his heart felt. “Or on the ride here, actually.”

“I’m not bothered by it,” Seungyoun says. He wipes his hand on his jacket before reaching into it, to pull out his vape pen. Figures.

“What flavor is it this time?” Wooseok asks, even as he twists out of his jacket, half-heartedly folding it before he sets it on the grass. “Hope it’s not the orange juice. That one sucked ass.”

Seungyoun laughs under his breath. “Thankfully no,” he says, “that one was really bad, wasn’t it? But no, this one’s, uh, pink lemonade. It’s really nice, actually. More subtle than the other ones.”

“Right,” Wooseok says, before pulling his light sweater over his head.

“We could shotgun kiss, if you’d like,” Seungyoun says. “It’s like—we kiss and I blow the smoke into—”

“—the more you speak, the more you ruin the illusion of you being some hot bad boy I do illegal shit with,” Wooseok says, kicking off his shoes. He pushes down his pants, too, trying not to feel uncomfortable as he folds them and sets them aside with his sweater and jacket. “Thanks, but I don’t smoke.”

“You wouldn’t be smoking,” Seungyoun says. He turns to face Wooseok, his brows pulling together. “Why are you—oh. Are we actually going to swim?”

“Why else would we go to the pool?” Wooseok asks, “come on, hurry up. You’re making me feel like a loser.”

“It’s going to be so cold,” Seungyoun says, even as he drags the hoodie over his head. “It’s going to be so cold and if I get sick from this, I’m absolutely suing you.”

“You won’t get cold,” Wooseok says, “quit whining. As long as you’ve got a nice and strong immune system, you should be fine.”

“I don’t think that’s entirely true,” Seungyoun replies, though he’s taking off his shoes. Wooseok spares him one last glance before he jumps into the pool, letting the cold water envelope him whole, making him feel like he could drown and drown and drown till he reaches the bottom.

He doesn’t, though, pushing up on the floor and rising up to the top in one quick motion, just in time to catch Seungyoun jumping in as well, water splashing on his forehead.

“Your car is going to get absolutely soaked when we go back,” Seungyoun tells him, his voice barely above a whisper when he resurfaces, finding Wooseok’s hand underwater rather quickly. “We could have just stayed on the grass and stared at the stars, or some other shit.”

“I like being in water,” Wooseok says. His hands slip out of Seungyoun’s grasp to settle on his shoulders, gripping them lightly. “I don’t mind my car being soaked, either,” he says, before he dunks Seungyoun underwater, laughter high on his breath.

Seungyoun’s brows are raised with a challenge as soon as he rises again.

“I can’t believe you’d do that to me,” he says, pushing water in Wooseok’s direction, making it spray on his face, his hair, and all Wooseok does in response is shake his head, making little droplets of water rain everywhere around them. “Is that the reason you’ve dragged me out here? Just to betray me like that?”

“What else could it be?” Wooseok asks just as he slips out of Seungyoun’s grasp before he has the chance to dunk him. “Noo, come on, don’t dunk me. That’s not fair.”

“You dunked me first!” Seungyoun says, mock accusatory even though he’s laughing, even though when he reaches Wooseok again, his hand stop on his upper arms, gentle as his thumbs rub the skin. “I feel like I have a right to return the gesture.”

“I feel otherwise,” Wooseok says. “Feel like you have no rights, actually.”

“Yeah?” Seungyoun asks, leaning his forehead on Wooseok’s. It should feel intense, maybe, should make Wooseok’s skin crawl with nerves, should make his stomach turn, should make his heart climb out his throat and—it does, to an extent, but most of all it feels right. He feels at peace, almost, feels at peace with everything that’s going to happen the next day. “Is that so?”

“Yeah,” Wooseok says, “rights stolen. Good luck getting them back.”

Seungyoun smiles at him before his eyes flutter closed, but he doesn’t say anything. Wooseok takes the moment to stare at him, to stare at every feature of his face, trying to memorize it. He raises his hand, drags his finger over Seungyoun’s brow, down his cheek and over his jaw.

“I’ll miss this,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper. He can feel tears prickling at his eyes already, clouding his vision.

“Hm?”

“I just,” he says, itching to bite his tongue and wishing he didn’t say anything in the first place. The gates have been opened, though, and it’s all flooding out. “I keep forgetting that this is it, you know? That after this, we’ll go our separate ways and there’s—there’s little holding us together, you know? We won’t even be in the same place. I don’t know. It all stresses me out. Makes me want to crawl into my bed and never get up, ever again.”

“Is it that bad?”

Wooseok sighs. “No,” he lies, because he hates how worried Seungyoun sounds. His voice wavers, though, and Seungyoun opens his eyes slowly to look at him.

“If it makes you feel any better, I feel the same,” Seungyoun says, “and we won’t go our separate ways, yeah? We still have to get the glow-in-the-dark stickers to put on my ceiling. You promised and I haven’t forgotten.”

“I did,” Wooseok says. Seungyoun reaches with his hand, grazing Wooseok’s cheek slightly as he pushes his hair back. “I did.”

“Yeah,” Seungyoun says, “you did. And we’ll do that, as soon as you come back for the holidays. That and more, probably. If you’re not too sick of my company.”

“I don’t think I could ever become too sick of your company,” Wooseok says. His voice is below a whisper, almost, though Seungyoun doesn’t seem to mind.

“I don’t know what I would do if you did, truth be told.”

Wooseok itches to ask more because he’s scared that once he moves, once they’re not in the same place, everything between them will change. That even if he returns here, even if they return to living in the same place, Seungyoun won’t pound on his window in the middle of the night or drag him out in the rain or take him on car rides to nowhere in particular in the middle of the night.

Except—he doesn’t know how to even phrase that, truth be told, because they’ve never talked about it, really. They’ve never talked about all the meet-ups, all the kissing, all the drives and trips and everything in between. They’ve never talked about any of it and Wooseok finds himself at a loss of words, even later on, when Seungyoun helps him out of the pool, as they pull on their clothes and make their way back to his car.

They’re holding hands, fingers intertwined tight, as if they’re making a vow to never let the other go.

Wooseok thinks he likes the idea.

“I think I want to be more than some bad boy you do illegal shit with,” Seungyoun says, once they’ve reached the car and Wooseok’s climbed up on the roof, occupied with staring at the stars. Seungyoun follows suit, albeit a bit slowly, until he’s pressed close to Wooseok’s, whose whole side is burning from the proximity. “I think you’d like me to be more, too.”

“What gives you that idea?” Wooseok asks instead of letting the _yes _that’s burning his throat fall out of his mouth, figuring that’d be the single most embarrassing thing to happen.

“Wooseok,” Seungyoun says, “I’m—about what you said, earlier. I don’t want this to be something you can forget easily or leave in the past or whatever. It’s—I want you to know that I do care for you. That you’re not just someone I can drag out in the middle of the night. It goes beyond that.”

“For me, too,” Wooseok says. He finds Seungyoun’s hand, wraps his own around it and squeezes. “In case you were worried.”

“A little bit,” Seungyoun says, “thought I’d make myself look like a clown again. Can’t really think of a worse fate, truth be told.”

“You’ve always make yourself look like a clown,” Wooseok says. He’s staring at the stars but he can feel Seungyoun turn his head to watch him, and he wonders how he looks through his eyes. “With all the vaping or whatever.”

“You like it more than you’d admit,” Seungyoun says.

“The pink lemonade one you had today does smell kind of nice,” Wooseok replies. Seungyoun’d smoked it after they got out of the pool, sending thick smoke into the otherwise clear sky. “In general, they’re not very sexy, though. Not too horny for them.”

“That’s a shame,” Seungyoun says, as he pushes himself up. The sky’s just starting to brighten, turning a soft violent at the horizon. “I think we should probably get going. So you don’t miss your flight and all.”

“Is this because I said your vaping wasn’t very sexy? If yes, I take it back. Let’s just stay here forever.”

“Maybe next time,” Seungyoun says, sliding down before he helps Wooseok do the same. Wooseok leans against the car, feeling a little distraught, his mind scrambled. “So? What do you say?”

“About getting back?” Wooseok asks, “I mean, it’s probably for the best—”

“—no,” Seungyoun says, “about being more than just some incels that do shit together.”

“More as in…?”

“As in be my boyfriend?” Seungyoun says, “we can go on dates and shit and do more than some stupid illegal shit or whatever in the middle of the night. Not that this isn’t fun but—you get the point.”

Wooseok’s silent for a moment, chewing on his lip. Seungyoun tilts his head as he waits for a response, trying to catch Wooseok’s eyes, though he can’t give that to him.

“Why do you have to ask me this the day before I leave,” Wooseok says, “not even a full day. There’s—god, there’s only some hours till my flight and you’re bringing this shit up.”

“Better late than never, yeah?” Seungyoun says. “You don’t have to—we don’t have to talk about this, though. If you’re not into it or whatever, then I fully understand, and we can just… drive back and pretend we never talked about this.”

Wooseok stares down at his shoes, unsure of what to say.

“I don’t think I want to do that, actually,” he says, after a moment. “I think—I think I’d love to. To be your boyfriend, I mean. To have you be mine. That’s—one of the things I want most, I think.”

“That settles it, then, doesn’t it?”

Seungyoun makes it seem so easy and Wooseok can’t help but give in, in that moment; he can’t help but think that everything’s going to be okay, that nothing will drive them apart. He lets Seungyoun take his hand, lets him press their foreheads together, lets him touch his cheek, lightly so, before he tucks a stray strand of hair behind his ear.

“I think so,” Wooseok says. Seungyoun grins at him and he can’t help but reciprocate the gesture. “Is that it, then? We’re official?”

“We will be if you kiss me,” Seungyoun says and Wooseok rolls his eyes.

“You’re such an incel sometimes,” Wooseok tells him, before he leans forward.

.

It’s years later when they finally get the chance to decorate the ceiling with glow-in-the-dark stars together, pressing them into the wall and hoping they’ll stick.

“They’re going to peel off within a week,” Wooseok says, staring at them. They decided to set them in the living room, right over the couch, and it fits, somehow, even if it makes the whole room look a bit more childish. “And if not, they’re going to get dirty really fast, I feel like.”

“Then we’ll get new ones,” Seungyoun says, hooking his chin on Wooseok’s shoulder. He’s hugging him from behind, arms wrapped around his chest, and Wooseok can’t think of a better place to be. “I think they look nice.”

“They do,” Wooseok agrees. He lets Seungyoun kiss his cheek, swing him from side to side, just slightly so. “I can’t think of a better way to decorate our first apartment together.”

“I think any way would be perfect for me, as long as it’s with you,” Seungyoun says.

“You’re so fucking sappy,” Wooseok says, pulling away so he can turn to face him, so he can take hold of his hands just lightly so. “I don’t think I’d have it any other way, though.”

“Great,” Seungyoun says, “‘cause I don’t think so, either.”

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed !!!! <3 happy birthday <3 
> 
> come say hi on [twitter](https://twitter.com/frouggyu)!!


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